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Basic Toilet Humor

Restroom comedy has long been the safe haven of your Daily, and publications remain attentive regarding memorable lavatory incidents and milestones, particularly within football. Readers were entertained to discover that a prominent writer a famous broadcaster owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet at his home. Spare a thought for the Barnsley fan who took the rest room rather too directly, and needed rescuing from a deserted Oakwell after falling asleep on the loo during halftime of a 2015 loss by Fleetwood. “He had no shoes on and had lost his mobile phone and his hat,” elaborated an official from the local fire department. And who can forget during his peak popularity with Manchester City, the controversial forward popped into a local college to access the restrooms in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then entered and inquired directions to the restrooms, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a student told the Manchester Evening News. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds like he owned the place.”

The Toilet Resignation

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century since Kevin Keegan stepped down as England manager following a short conversation inside a lavatory booth alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, following that infamous 1-0 defeat by Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the historic stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, his confidential FA records, he stepped into the wet beleaguered England dressing room directly following the fixture, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams energized, both players begging for the director to convince Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies found him slumped – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, saying quietly: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Collaring Keegan, Davies worked frantically to save the circumstance.

“Where on earth could we find for confidential discussion?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Just a single choice remained. The toilet cubicles. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past occurred in the ancient loos of a venue scheduled for destruction. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I closed the door after us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, later admitting that he had found his period as Three Lions boss “empty”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I struggled to occupy my time. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” English football has come a long way over the past twenty-five years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are no longer present, although a German now works in the technical area Keegan previously used. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

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Quote of the Day

“We remained in an extended queue, clad merely in our briefs. We were Europe’s best referees, elite athletes, role models, adults, parents, strong personalities with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We scarcely made eye contact, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with an ice-cold gaze. Silent and observant” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures referees were previously subjected to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists named ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to take care of the first team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and awarded some merch, I have decided to put finger to keypad and make a pithy comment. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations on the school grounds with children he expected would overpower him. This self-punishing inclination must explain his option to move to Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|