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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “detached from reality”, he explains. You feel invincible and you think, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are usually coming after a “sudden low”, a period when he feels overwhelmed and ashamed about his behavior, making him especially susceptible to criticism from those around him. He began to think he might have NPD after researching his symptoms on the internet – and subsequently diagnosed by a professional. But, he doubts he would have agreed with the assessment unless he had independently formed that realization by himself. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they experience feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they made for themselves. And in that mindset, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

Though people have been called narcissists for decades, it’s not always clear what the term implies the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” says an expert in narcissism, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he notes many people keep it private, due to so much stigma associated with the condition. Someone with NPD will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to enhance their social status through things like seeking admiration,” the specialist clarifies. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

Although up to 75% of people diagnosed with NPD are males, studies indicates this figure does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is typically appears in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be more socially permissible, just kind of like everything in society,” says a young adult who posts about her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on digital platforms. It’s fairly common, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

It’s hard for me with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she says, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to defence mode or I completely shut down.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been trying to overcome it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the harmful behaviour of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners during adolescence,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her current boyfriend “operate with an understanding where I told him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, when I use toxic language, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mainly in the care of her father and says she lacked healthy examples in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding continuously what is and is not appropriate to say in conflicts because I lacked that guidance growing up,” she says. There were no boundaries when my family members were criticizing me in my early years.”

Origins of The Condition

These mental health issues tend to be connected with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “tied to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to manage during childhood”, he continues, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was based on meeting particular demands. They then “persist in applying those identical strategies as adults”.

Like several of the those diagnosed, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The adult explains when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve good grades and career success, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “good enough”.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t loving someone, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, has difficulty with mood stability. She is “highly empathetic of the internal struggles in my head”, he notes – it was surprisingly, she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, an assessment was arranged to a therapist for an diagnosis and was told his diagnosis. He has been put forward for psychological counseling via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for 18 months: It was indicated it is probably going to be in a few months.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his mental health status, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, privately, he has come to terms with it. This understanding allows me to comprehend my actions, which is always a good thing,” he says. Those interviewed have acknowledged their condition and are seeking help for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the diagnosis. But the existence of NPD content creators and the development of online support communities suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number